Not long ago someone told me I was one of the most self-confident people she knew. I was stunned when she said that, because in all honesty, I question who I am all the time. I constantly want reassurance that what I am doing is okay–that I am okay. As a matter of fact–I am a great liar. I guess I hide it well that I am one of the most insecure people I know.
Some days insecurity almost smothers me like a blanket, depriving me of the ability to believe in myself and my gifts and talents. I think it is one of Satan’s biggest lies to tell me that I am not worthy, I am not confident, and I am not able to live up to my God-given gifts and abilities.
So here are some things truths I have recognized as helpful when dealing with my own insecurities. Maybe they can help you, too.
Truth: I am a Child of the King and the Holy Spirit dwells in me
“What marvelous love the Father has extended to us! Just look at it—we’re called children of God! That’s who we really are.” I John 3:1a, (MSG) Remembering that I am a child of the most high God helps me in remembering that I have worth. And in reminding myself that the Holy Spirit of God abides in me, I can feel more confident in who I am. “19 Haven’t you yet learned that your body is the home of the Holy Spirit God gave you, and that he lives within you? Your own body does not belong to you. 20 For God has bought you with a great price. So use every part of your body to give glory back to God because he owns it.” (1 Corinthians 1:19-20, TLB) While that verse is actually in the context of our sexuality, it is truly a reminder that we belong to God and he lives in us when we are his child.
Truth: It is okay to want validation.
I have come to recognize that I need validation in my life. Like an oxygen starved person who needs to breathe, I need certain elements in my life to let me know I am okay. I truly appreciate it when someone writes me a thank you note or shares with me about something I have done that makes a difference to them. Those go into my treasure trove of memories and I can pull them out when I am down on myself or fail to believe what I do matters. It is easy to convince others you are secure in who you are, it is way harder to convince yourself. However, if you are continually in need of validation or are clinging needily (is there such a word?) to someone to affirm you, there may be a deeper need that is not being met. Don’t be afraid to seek counseling if needed.
Truth: Most people struggle on occasion with insecurity.
I like this quote from a blog on 5 Things to Do When You Feel Insecure by Therese Borchard, “You figure everyone can see that you’re insecure. And that actually makes you feel more insecure. But here’s the wonderful truth. No one can see your insecurity. They are too worried about their own insecurity to notice your insecurity.” The fact of the matter is that most people deal with insecurity on occasion–even those whom you think have their lives all together! It is normal to have feelings of insecurity once in a while. The problem comes when you let it define who you are.