I have been in the process of refreshing a couple of my rooms, including painting, changing out curtains, throw pillows and accessories. And of course, I have gone through every dresser drawer to make sure I am not holding on to things I no longer use. Today, I found a journal that I started several years ago.
Not long after my husband passed away, I went through a pretty rough period. I was not working when he died, and it took me almost three years to find a full-time job. During that time things were difficult– emotionally and financially. I wrote the following entry after a particularly hard day.
Photo by Ben White on Unsplash
“Can I be honest here, God? Of course, I can because you already know. I am really grasping for answers right now. After all this time I am getting angry and bewildered about being in such an untenable situation. I just need to remember that you have not brought me this far in my faith walk to dump me now. Help me remember that! You are God and you have always wanted me to walk in faith and trust you. Help me, Lord, to walk in faith, putting my hand in yours and walking step-by-step with you.
When I falter, lift me up
When I weaken, give me strength
When I cry out, wipe my tears
When I doubt, show me faith
When I despair, fill me with hope
When I am lonely, be my friend
When I am prideful, make me humble
When I am harsh, make me gentle
When I am broken, make me whole.”
While walking through this journey was painful, looking back I see every time that God was faithful. I see every need He met. I see every person He used to support me, encourage me, and minister to me.
So my take away is this: God’s faithfulness is real. He is faithful through all the trials. He is faithful through all the tears. He is faithful through all the pain. He is faithful through the times of loss. He is faithful when you think you cannot take one more step forward.
You may be going through a really rough time in your life and you may think that nothing that is happening to you matters to God. Your life may look bleak and grim and this season in your life may feel hopeless. But it is not. Seek God, soak up his Word and trust in his promises. You may not see today where he is leading you, but God is faithful to those who are truly seeking him.
“Your word, O Lord, is eternal; it stands firm in the heavens. Your faithfulness continues through all generations; you established the earth and it endures. Your laws endure to this day for all things serve you. If your law had not been my delight, I would have perished in my affliction. I will never forget your precepts, for by them you have preserved my life.” Psalm 119:89-93 (NIV)
©Linda Delay Wallace 2020.