The Real Deal

Today, people are talking about the death of Dolly Parton and her impact on the world around us. There is no getting around it–she was the whole package. Someone who was a wonderful songwriter, a poet, a singer, an actor, and full of faith. She made the world better just by being in it!

But today, I want to honor another woman who passed from this life into eternal life on the same day. She had a great influence on everyone who came within her realm. There are not enough words for me to explain the example she was to me and many others. I met her at church shortly before my husband and I married. She quickly took me under her wings like she did for so many of the younger women in our church. She was certainly a mentor to many of us. She was one of the kindest and wisest women I have had the privilege of knowing.

She was famous in our circles for her hospitality. Her home was always open, and the kitchen was always busy. She made a peach cobbler that was one of the most popular desserts at the many potlucks our church had. She hosted Bible studies and home teams up until a year before her health became challenging.

Not only was she someone who made people feel at home, she wasn’t afraid to open her home to others. Whether it was a place to stay overnight or longer, she didn’t hesitate to share her resources with others. She heard of a family who lived far away in Missouri who needed a place to stay while their child was treated at Children’s Hospital. She issued the invitation for them to come and they did, along with the multiple children they homeschooled. For several years they made the trek to Janice’s home while their daughter received treatment. Now they are family. Missionaries, homeless, heartbroken, and more–she mothered them, prayed for them, and blessed them.

Janice was also one of the original coupon clipping queens. From the time I first knew her she shared her coupon savings with others. Back when coupons were still printed, she would seek out the best deals and rebates out there. She could make her household money go farther than anyone I know. Plus she made nutritious, healthy meals. Her ham and beans were the best I have ever had. I suspect even if money had not been tight, she still would have found it a challenge to get the best value for her money! Originally from Kentucky, one weekend I and another friend went to the 100 mile garage sale with her. We laughed so hard and found some of the best bargains ever. When we ate at a restaurant and then went to sit in the rockers on the porch (not Cracker Barrel), the manager joined us and Janice had his whole life story and talked to him about Jesus before we left.

Next to my dad, I have never known anyone who loved babies so much! She was a baby whisperer and perfected the football hold. It never failed to put my children to sleep. She was a huge advocate for breast feeding and active in the LaLecha league, mentoring many young mothers and encouraging them. When her daughter was in the hospital having her baby, her nurse told her all about the amazing woman who mentored her when she had her first child. Turns out it was her mother!

She loved others like Jesus loved. No matter where you came from or how you acted, her love was genuine and you knew it. Life was not always easy, with circumstances that were challenging on occasion, but she never let that stop her from loving others.

She saw challenges as opportunities instead of obstacles. When her young daughter was diagnosed with Type I Diabetes, she advocated for her, learned how to give insulin shots, and adapted her cooking to be healthy for a diabetic. When her husband was misdiagnosed with depression and his whole personality changed, she prayed, stayed patient, and gave it to God. When he was correctly diagnosed with a brain tumor, the whole family followed her lead and supported him and prayed for him. For 17 years he battled one tumor after another until the Lord called him home. During the times of job loss, frustration, and treatments, she remained faithful to God and continued to praise him for his goodness. When other people might walk away, she remained faithful to her calling as a wife, a mother, and a friend.

She and her husband started a business after they found out about the tumor. Doing accounting and taxes, she worked hard to make sure her family had income to sustain them. She always gave thanks to God for meeting their needs during lean times. She and her husband adopted the verse in Joel 2:25-26, as their life verse. “I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten—the great locust and the young locust, the other locusts and the locust swarm—my great army that I sent among you. You will have plenty to eat, until you are full, and you will praise the name of the Lord your God, who has worked wonders for you;”

I could go on and on about Janice. Her humility, kindness, hospitality, and love for Jesus defined her. The last time I was able to talk with her before she died, she told me, “I want to go home.” Now after a life well-lived, she is there. I cannot imagine a more fitting reward for her than sitting at the banquet table with Jesus. Goodbye for now and I will see you at the table.

Modern Day Dilemmas

Recently, I experienced a full two days of not having internet access at my home. It was an interesting time to say the least. It is hard to realize how dependent we have become on technology, until we no longer have it! No internet meant no computer internet access, no Alexa, no television streaming, no telling my RoboVac Bradley to clean.

It is kind of sad that I have become so used to these amenities that I no longer appreciate them like I should. I take them for granted and when they disappear I am made acutely aware of how heavily I rely on my modern day conveniences. Luckily, I enjoy reading or doing crafts so while I was home I did that. But I did miss my internet access.

Photo by bruce mars on Unsplash

It would seem that while technology is great for us, in becoming dependent on it we have lost some very precious gifts. I only need to look around at an event or in a restaurant and I see people constantly looking at their phones. Research has shown that excessive screen time creates additional anxiety and depression, interferes with our social skills, and disturbs our sleep patterns–just for starters. For teens, cell phone usage becomes a minefield, especially if the teen is portrayed negatively by peers on Instagram, TikTok, and SnapChat. Suicide rates have rocketed and I believe some of that can be attributed to cell phone usage without being judicious about what you are reading.

In the past, societies built relationships with one another by spending time together, working alongside of each other, and having immediate and extended families in a somewhat close proximity. Today when I watch families together, many of them are sitting in the restaurant with their phones out. Instead of talking with one another across the table, they frequently text instead. I confess it is refreshing when I see a family who has their cell phones put away during a meal together (including Mom and Dad!).

So as Christians how does this impact the church? It is great being able to use technology to communicate with church members and visitors alike. There is no doubt that during the Covid epidemic, churches keeping in touch by using technology and streaming their services live, was a huge blessing. Unfortunately many churches never reached their pre-covid attendance when things started going back to normal (whatever normal is!). Luckily my church not only did that, but we also have been having a very healthy church growth spurt.

The fact that we are raising generations to depend on technology is kind of frightening. Many newer homes are built as “smart” homes, with locks that are voice activated, and lights that come on automatically when programmed. Even stoves and ovens can be programmed with cook times and temperatures now.

But this is the thing. God made us to be relational people. He created Adam in order to have a relationship with him and then created Eve so that Adam would have companionship. Mankind has been shown to be relational through the generations. Sometimes those relations have been good, and occasionally bad once sin entered the world, but the fact is they are important.

It amazes me for all the technology in the world, you still have to be connected to something that drives the technology in order to communicate via cell phone, computer, or tablet. There must be a power source.

It just reminds me that our power source is God. By his death, Jesus tore the veil of the temple and became our high priest. He made it possible for us to come into the presence of God through our worship, prayer, and praise. We can be connected to God by prayer, not by anything electronic, but by the power of God’s Holy Spirit.

So when I am surrounded by people who are attached to the phones like it is another appendage, I am grateful that I have a relationship that is not dependent upon technology, but rather upon truly fostering one-on-one relationships, and most of all, a relationship with God.

Seventy Lessons for 70 years

Today I will have reached another decade. When I was younger, I can remember thinking that 70 was ancient! And here I am. I have learned so much through my years and often think it is such a shame that it takes a lifetime to gain wisdom. If only I had known these things when I was younger. So, I want to share 70 lessons I have learned through the years (in no particular order). Not everything was learned from personal experience . . . well, maybe some of them were.

Find joy in life

1. Despite my brother thinking my mom had a hard time delivering me because I would not put the book away, I really did not come out reading. Learn to read.

Me and my chubby cheeks.

2. People say, “I could just squeeze those cute little cheeks,” DON’T.

3. Spiders are creepy, crawly, things.

4.  Volunteer to catch grasshoppers for your uncles to use as bait for fishing. They may pay you a penny each.

5. Every 5-year-old covers their face for pictures. Just roll with it.

6. See Dick and Jane run really was a thing. Just change the names and ask my siblings what happened when someone yelled, “Snake.”

7. Some people move a lot. Just learn to roll with it.

8. No, butter really does not make a sunburn better. Use sunscreen and avoid skin cancer.

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The Little Yellow House

One of my favorite aunts passed away yesterday (dare I say my favorite?). I only have two aunts left out of 14 originally. She was kind and compassionate, hospitable, and patient. She was generous with her love. And even though she had bright red hair, she did not have the temper that is such a stereotype for redheads! Although I do have to say I saw her aggravated occasionally, usually with my uncle. But it must not have been too bad because they were married over 65 years.

I have lots of fond memories of spending time at her little yellow house that was truly a home. I loved her green Fiesta Ware dishes that were square instead of round. I enjoyed eating her “cheesecake.” It was not until later that I learned it technically was pineapple fluff, not a true cheesecake. But it did have a graham cracker crust and cream cheese in it.

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Being Me and the Perfect Life*

Do you ever wish you had someone else’s perfect life? Have you ever thought your life would be better if you could just have their talents and skills, their perfect family, or their awesome job?  Sometimes it’s easy to envy others when we think they have the best personalities, the most talent, and other attributes we admire.  Frequently we get into the comparison game and come up the loser.

The fact of the matter is while we are busy envying someone else’s life, that very same person may be envying another person, too. When I was younger I could sense something wrong in a relationship with a close friend. I couldn’t put my finger on what was going on, but it seemed we were losing our closeness and I was stymied as to what I had done that would make her avoid me. Finally, unable to stand it any longer, I confronted her. I was stunned when I heard her say she was jealous of my ability to make friends easily and I had a boyfriend, while she struggled to build relationships. Feeling badly about her relationships, she had started to avoid me, especially when I was with my boyfriend.

But the REAL fact of the matter was that I envied her for her sense of humor, her close-knit Christian family, and her obvious musical talent. Once we were able to talk about our feelings and recognize that God made us unique individuals, with our own strengths and weaknesses, we abolished the barriers we had let build over time.

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Bittersweet Days

This evening will be bittersweet for me. I am going to the Alumni Homecoming banquet at the college I graduated from in 1974. (I know–I am truly getting old!) The reason it is bittersweet is that the college is in its last year of existence. When May arrives, the last graduating class will receive their diplomas and a school that has been in existence since 1956, will merge with another college. Like many Bible colleges the financial burden of staying open, the pandemic, and the lack of incoming students have created the perfect storm, causing hard decisions to be made.

Unfortunately I have seen several Bible colleges close in the last decade. I could cite a multitude of reasons why the majority of Bible colleges are struggling to remain open. Some of the reasons are valid, some of them are not. But that is not really the purpose of this post.

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Words to My 22-year-old Self

I belong to a facebook group called Ministry Chick, which is specifically designed for women in ministry. In the short time I have been a part of that group, it has been refreshing to see women come together in support of one another. Today a young woman posted a question that really got me thinking.

Her question was “If you could go back and tell your 22 year old self anything, what would it be?”

Goodness! My 67-year-old self would have plenty to say. But here are the top 10 things in no particular order, except the first one, that I would tell my 22-year-old self. Continue reading

What’s Her Story?

We all have them in our churches. Women whose lives are full of hurt and pain, who struggle with job loss, economic woes, health issues, parenting issues, and more. They sit in the pews Sunday after Sunday, trying to trust God with their struggles and frequently wearing a mask to cover their pain. We will never know their stories unless we make the effort to invite them into our lives and discover who they are.

A friend and I listened as a woman shared her story of a son who is struggling with paranoid schizophrenia. She lived in fear as she watched his hallucinations and bizarre behaviors become increasingly more frequent. The hours leading to his involuntary hospitalization were something I would never wish for anyone. My heart ached for her and her pain. We held hands as we prayed for her family. My friend and I both prayed that God’s healing hand would be on this family, but it was her prayer that made me cry as I truly saw the heart of a mother who loved God. Continue reading

Living with Brokenness

This weekend I had the pleasure of attending a Fresh Grounded Faith conference. I heard Ann Voskamp, Laura Story, and Jennifer Rothschild share their stories and their challenges as women of God. I loved listening to these women because they were authentic and real. They didn’t paint a “rah, rah, everything is good in our lives” picture! Instead, they talked about our wounds and our challenges and our pain–our brokenness.

thAs I listened this weekend I thought about the multitude of women I know who have shared their stories with me through the years. Stories they have never shared with anyone, secrets so deep and painful they affected the rest of their lives. And I have been a keeper of the stories that have been told to me in confidence. My heart breaks every time I hear one of them. Continue reading

Surviving Transition

ChangeTransitions. We all have them. Some transitions fill us with expectation and excitement, others fill us with dread and uncertainty.  Some transitions are of our own making, others are sometimes forced upon us.  But there is no doubt, good or bad, we all need to learn how to adjust to transition in our lives.  It is especially difficult to make a smooth transition when change comes our way, not through our own choosing, but through circumstances–sometimes beyond our control or understanding. Continue reading