death

The Cost of a Candy Bar

/ Linda DeLay Wallace / Leave a comment

Today has been one of those days where paying $1.79 for a Snickers candy bar is worth it. Under normal circumstances I cannot bring myself to pay that for a candy bar. But today? Well, let’s just say I needed that addictive sugar. I have been on an eating-healthy lifestyle change and while it has not been a stellar journey by any means, it has been an improvement. One of the things I have learned on this journey is that stress = carbs. And most of the time, I do pretty good keeping that under control. but not today.

There is a saying that bad things happen in threes. I honestly do not believe in superstitions, but today, I am almost convinced of that one!

My day started with learning that the hoarseness and vocal difficulty I am having will never go away. A tough pill to swallow for someone who does public speaking. I am a talker–I understand that about myself–and yet I have found my ability to talk for extended periods of time hampered by my vocal issues. I was discouraged as I walked out of the doctor’s office. But, I figure that God still has a plan for me. Even though I am highly disappointed, God can still use me in ways I have yet to discover.

However, that was not the worst issue faced today.

It is not my place to share the specifics of one of the things I learned today. But it is significant and life-impacting for several people. It was hard to hear and I will continue to pray for that situation.

The hardest thing I faced today was the sharing with a dear friend who has been diagnosed with a terminal illness. That one has left me devastated. Once again, it is not my place to share her news on social media. The people who need to know will.

During my conversation with her, she reassured me she is at peace. She knows her Savior and she is looking forward to meeting him face-to-face. I am pretty sure she comforted me more than I comforted her. My heart is aching and my tears have been flowing off and on all afternoon. They are rolling down my cheeks even as I write this.

I am sure that one day I will share a whole lot more about my friend–once her journey here is done and she is rejoicing in heaven where there is no more pain and sorrow. But for now, I am going to let myself indulge in more tears and spend some time praying for her and her family.

I can’t help but think about how Jesus felt when his friend Lazarus died. He wept. He knew that Lazarus would be resurrected, both in his body and someday again in his spirit, and yet he wept because of the sorrow Martha and Mary experienced. I cannot help but think that maybe he weeps a little bit with me today as I experience the sorrow of knowing I am going to lose a dear friend and sister in Christ.

It has been a difficult day and I am sure that later in the day I will regret giving in to that candy bar. But I am not going to beat myself up for it because the cost of $1.79 is little in the scheme of things. I wish all of life’s problems could be solved with a candy bar.

Sitting at the Table

/ Linda DeLay Wallace / 2 Comments

Today I attended the funeral of a friend of mine. I tried to remember the first time I met Nancy. Our paths first crossed at a retreat put on by the Christian Campus House of Missouri University. That was in 1971. I did not meet her again until 1978, when I returned back home from living in Cincinnati for four years after college. It was then that I went back to Ferguson Christian Church, where I had helped with Jet Cadets during my college years. That was where Nancy and I first became friends.

Our lives continued to connect as we both moved to the same city, attended the same church for decades, and were recently in the same Bunco group. Over the years, we shared many meals together and when she cooked them–oh, yummy.

At her funeral it was noted that she was a marvelous cook (and she was), and she had a knack for hospitality (and she did). For years she served quietly behind the scenes helping with potlucks, cooking fabulous desserts (her chocolate pecan pie was a hit), and taking meals to the sick.

But the thing that impressed me most was from the time she learned she had pancreatic cancer, in her quiet and understated way, she was an amazing example of staying the course with her faith. She never wavered in her faith that God was a good God. All of those who visited with her came away with the same knowledge that her faith was what sustained her. On my last visit with her, her quiet certainty that heaven awaited her shined through. While I was tearful, she was calm and in her inimitable way, totally Nancy. Her organizational skills were always somewhat amazing, and true to form, she told me she had put everything in order so that her sisters would know where everything was and would not have to go searching for things.

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Welcome Home!

/ Linda DeLay Wallace / Leave a comment

This morning when I opened my facebook, I saw a picture of my friend’s parents when they were much younger. The news was both heartbreaking and joy making. Nita Hargrave had gone home to her heavenly father and to those who had reached heaven before her, including her husband.

My heart aches for her children and grandchildren who will miss her dearly. But my heart also rejoices for them — because they have the privilege and joy of knowing she loved God and them with all of her heart.

I met the Hargrave family when I was a young 17-year-old college student. I roomed with their daughter, Debby, for many of my young adult years. I do not think they will ever know the full impact they had on my life. Continue reading →

Hallmark Moments

/ Linda DeLay Wallace / 1 Comment

Think Hallmark movies are corny? You may be right but they may be truer to life than you think.

I confess. I watch Hallmark movies and right now the Christmas movies are out in full force. I have a friend who also watches Hallmark movies and I wait in anticipation of her pithy comments on each show. Here are just a few: “Tonight’s Hallmark tally: 2 more dead parents, 1 divorced and absent father. Mamas, don’t let your kids grow up to star in Hallmark movies.” “Forty-five minutes in and the wife of the main character is dead. Seriously, why isn’t the funeral home the center of activity in these small towns? ” “Tuned in late for tonight’s Hallmark Christmas movie premiere. Never fear: we have one dead mother. The love interest really should be an undertaker.”

While I laugh at her comments and agree that most of the movies are just rewrites with different characters, the fact is, there is something that keeps people coming back to watch them. That is probably the improbable but happy endings and the thought that maybe, just maybe, no matter how bad life gets, there is hope. Continue reading →

Goodbye . . . for now

/ Linda DeLay Wallace / 3 Comments

100_4237A few years ago for Mother’s Day, I wrote the following blog post about my mom.  Today my heart is aching and my emotions are raw, as I prepare to say my final goodbye.  Her death has left our entire family devastated.  My mom was a unique, one-of-kind woman. and it is hard to even comprehend the impact she has had on multiple lives.  It would take an entire book to share the kind of life she lived, the kind of example she set, and the kind of love that she showed. She was a mentor to many, an extraordinary friend, and an awesome mom. Continue reading →