When I was growing up my parents were not good at saying “I love you” or giving out hugs. It really wasn’t until my early 30s that I started hearing those words when I would come home for a visit. Do not misunderstand me—I knew my parents loved me, they proved it over and over by their actions. But they did not say it until I was older. I am not sure why it changed, but I remember being surprised the first time my mom actually said “I love you” when she hugged me goodbye. Those were words I treasured because I did not hear them very often.
When I was in high school, I remember going to my friend’s house and she would say to her mom, “I love you” and her mom would always reply, “I love you more.” I would longingly think how nice it would be to hear those words. They really were not a contest about who could love the most, but an affirmation that their love was deep and abiding.
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Over Thanksgiving I ventured to Dallas to see my son and his family and my car was rear ended as I was sitting at a stop light waiting for the green light. I was hit hard enough to hit my head against the head rest rather forcefully, but when I got out and looked at the bumper of my car I was pleasantly surprised that it did not seem so bad. The car that hit me did not fare quite as well and had to be towed because the radiator was rapidly losing coolant.
On Monday I took my car to the repair shop anticipating being able to pick it up in a few days. Today I called and was dismayed to hear that there was way more damage to the car than initially estimated. When they took the bumper cover off, the damage was easily seen. I knew the trunk had big gaps on both sides, but the trunk and the steel body on both back panels had significant bends in them. So I wait while the insurance adjuster comes to take a look at the final damage and negotiates a new price for the repairs.
After I hung up from talking with the owner of the body shop, I thought how much like life this incident was. Sometimes we do not recognize the untreated wounds that are lying beneath the outside facade, until we peel back the protective layers we have used. Continue reading →