The Great Lie–the truth about my own insecurity

thNot long ago someone told me I was one of the most self-confident people she knew.  I was stunned when she said that, because in all honesty, I question who I am all the time. I constantly want reassurance that what I am doing is okay–that I am okay. As a matter of fact–I am a great liar. I guess I hide it well that I am one of the most insecure people I know.

Some days insecurity almost smothers me like a blanket, depriving me of the ability to believe in myself and my gifts and talents. I think it is one of Satan’s biggest lies to tell me that I am not worthy, I am not confident, and I am not able to live up to my God-given gifts and abilities.

So here are some things truths I have recognized as helpful when dealing with my own insecurities.  Maybe they can help you, too.

Truth: I am a Child of the King and the Holy Spirit dwells in me

“What marvelous love the Father has extended to us! Just look at it—we’re called children of God! That’s who we really are.” I John 3:1a, (MSG) Remembering that I am a child of the most high God helps me in remembering that I have worth. And in reminding myself that the Holy Spirit of God abides in me, I can feel more confident in who I am. “19 Haven’t you yet learned that your body is the home of the Holy Spirit God gave you, and that he lives within you? Your own body does not belong to you. 20 For God has bought you with a great price. So use every part of your body to give glory back to God because he owns it.” (1 Corinthians 1:19-20, TLB) While that verse is actually in the context of our sexuality, it is truly a reminder that we belong to God and he lives in us when we are his child.

Truth: It is okay to want validation.

I have come to recognize that I need validation in my life. Like an oxygen starved person who needs to breathe, I need certain elements in my life to let me know I am okay. I truly appreciate it when someone writes me a thank you note or shares with me about something I have done that makes a difference to them. Those go into my treasure trove of memories and I can pull them out when I am down on myself or fail to believe what I do matters. It is easy to convince others you are secure in who you are, it is way harder to convince yourself. However, if you are continually in need of validation or are clinging needily (is there such a word?) to someone to affirm you, there may be a deeper need that is not being met. Don’t be afraid to seek counseling if needed.

Truth: Most people struggle on occasion with insecurity.

I like this quote from a blog on 5 Things to Do When You Feel Insecure by Therese Borchard, “You figure everyone can see that you’re insecure. And that actually makes you feel more insecure. But here’s the wonderful truth. No one can see your insecurity. They are too worried about their own insecurity to notice your insecurity.” The fact of the matter is that most people deal with insecurity on occasion–even those whom you think have their lives all together! It is normal to have feelings of insecurity once in a while. The problem comes when you let it define who you are.

Truth: Circumstances can contribute to feelings of insecurity, but they do not have to define us.
It is  true some people have been told all their lives that they are not worth anything. They have had negative life experiences, abuse, neglect, and more. Those are all hard things to overcome. But negative experiences do not have to define us and keep us from moving to a more confident life. I can define specific things in my past that have  contributed to my lack of belief in myself, but i do not have to let them control who I become. While I think the expectations I put on myself  far outweigh the expectations others put on me, I can recognize that I have a choice as to whether negative experiences define me. It is an important step forward in ridding myself of those insecurities that plague me daily.
Maybe the next time someone tells me they think I am a self-confident woman I will try to affirm that belief instead of question it.  The fact of the matter is, I am the only one who can change what I believe about myself. No one can do that for me–it is my responsibility to not believe the big lies that Satan tells me and to pursue the truth that God has given me.
I am loved. I have worth. I can do all things through Christ–and THAT IS THE TRUTH!
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One thought on “The Great Lie–the truth about my own insecurity

  1. Oh my, can I relate to feelings of insecurity and low self worth, needing those affirmations to reinforce our very own thinking some days, Affirmations that we are ok, safe, loved, and never alone. Never alone. The God spark lives in everyone, in everything, in every miracle, even when we cant see it, cant feel it. Faith in even the darkest moments, Faith is what brings us through. Without Faith and Belief, knowing that We are all Children of God, without that truth inside we are Blind to the very thing that connects us all. Chin up my beautiful Aunt. You are always enough, you are never alone, you are loved unconditionally, and the God Spark inside you shines bright. You are coming upon a calling, and you will shine!

    The picture is fantastic and a bit breathtaking. Thank you for sharing it!

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