Feeling Less Than, Part 2

Yesterday I wrote about my personal struggle of feeling less than others throughout most of my life. The truth of the matter is many people grapple with the same thing. I do not always consciously think about how my less than mentality has surfaced in many ways in my life. However, in part it has shown in my lack of self-confidence, my reluctance to try new things, and my hesitation to believe my opinions and thoughts are valid. I bet if you are struggling with feeling less than, you may be experiencing some of the things I just listed.

But do not despair. There is hope for those of us who have bought into the lies that we are less than others. So let’s start right here.

We have bought into the lies. Satan is a liar and he delights in convincing us we are unworthy, unlovable, and not significant. Every time we hear that insidious voice that tells we are not good enough, we are not accomplished enough, or we are not attractive enough, we are listening to lies. Those lies can lead us to fear, anger, resentment, jealousy, envy, depression, eating disorders, and more.

Do not listen to your negative inner voice. Most of the time it is lying. Every time you start to hear the lies in your head, substitute them with truth, and not the truth as you may see it, but the truth as God sees it. The fact is YOU and I are important to God. He loves us so much and he can renew us and make us into people he can use to do extraordinary things.

I saw this information adapted from “The Sensation of Being Somebody” by Maurice Wagner.

I won’t buy the LIE that . . .

Superstar Performance
+ Great Accomplishments will make me feel ACCEPTED and valued

Good Looks + Admiration
of others will make me feel SECURE

Status + Popularity
Recognition by others will make me feel SIGNIFICANT

I’ll believe the TRUTH that . . .

I am ACCEPTED in Christ

I Am SECURE in Christ


Jn 1: 12 – I am God’s child

Rom. 8:1-2 – I am
free forever from condemnation

Matt. 5:13-14 – I am
the salt and light of the earth

Jn 15:15 – I am Christ’s friend

Rom. 8:28 – I am
assured all works together for good

Jn 15:1-5 – I am a
branch of the true vine, a channel of his life.

Rom. 5:1 – I have been justified

Rom. 8:31-34 – I am free from any charge against me

Jn 15:16 – I have been chosen and appointed to bear fruit

1 Cor 6:17 – I am united with the Lord (one Spirit)

Roman 8:35-39 – I cannot be separated from the love of God

Acts 1:8 – I am a personal witness of Christ’s

1 Cor 6:19-20 – I am bought with a price; I belong to God

2 Cor. 1:21-22 – I am established, anointed, sealed by God

1 Cor. 3:16 – I am God’s temple

1 Cor. 12:27 – I am a member of Christian’s body

Col. 3:3 – I am hidden with Christ in God

2 Cor 4:17-21 – I am a minister of reconciliation for God

Eph. 1:1 – I am a saint

Phil. 1:6 – I am confident that the good work God has begun in me will be perfected

2 Cor 6:1 – I am God’s co-worker (1 Cor 3:9)

Eph 1:5 – I have been adopted as God’s child

Phil 3:20 I am a citizen of heaven

Eph 2:6 –  I  am seated with Christ in the heavenly realm

Eph. 2:18 – I have access to God thru the Holy Spirit

2 Tim. 1:7 – I have not been given a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind

Eph. 2:10 – I am God’s workmanship

Col. 1:14 – I have been redeemed and forgiven

Heb. 4:16 – I can find grace and mercy in time of need.

Eph. 3:12 – I may approach God with freedom and confidence

Col. 2:10 – I am complete in Christ

1 Jn. 5:18 – I am born of God; the evil one cannot touch me

Phil. 4:13 – I can do all things thru Christ who strengthen me

Wake up everyday and tell yourself “I am loved by the Creator of the world.” Tell yourself, “I am valuable.” Tell yourself, “I CAN do all things through Christ.”

Evaluate your past and things that have contributed to your feeling less than. Wow. That is a hard one. Sometimes it requires therapy to help us look at things differently. Sometimes we can confide in a trusted, wise friend and let them help us process our emotions. Sometimes bringing something into the light instead of keeping it buried, can be a healing process. I know for me personally, that happened when I finally disclosed my abuse to a trusted friend. A huge weight was lifted.

You cannot change your past. You can let it wreak havoc on your life, or you can determine to use it to help make you a better person. Lessons along the way can be painful but God can use the pain and your story for his glory. He can use all the messy details of your life and make you into someone who exhibits Godliness. Just look at Peter–Peter who was impulsive, emotional, a rough and tough fisherman, and who denied Christ during a crisis. God used him to help establish the church. You never know what God can do with your life and your past until you trust him with it.

Stop being your own worst critic. Hopefully, we would never talk to our friends and family the way we talk to ourselves. Be kind to yourself. Instead of criticizing yourself, find something good to say. In 1 Samuel 16:7, God apparently rejected some of David’s better looking brothers and told Samuel that David would be king. He said, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as a man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”

Instead of saying, I am dumb because I don’t understand this, flip the script and say, “I have an opportunity to learn something new and I will work on it.”

Write positive notes to yourself about the way you look and feel and post them around the house. Post scriptures like John 1:12, 2 Timothy 1:7, and Philippians 1:6 in different locations in your car and house. It is amazing what positivity can do to help get over the feeling that you are less than others.

List your accomplishments. Makes a list of the things your have accomplished and are proud of. List your talents, abilities and interests. List positive things about yourself. This is hard, but sit down and DO it. If you are not sure what they are, take an assessment that helps you identify strengths and gifts (there are plenty of them on the internet). Ask your friends and family about the positive things they see in you.

Stretch out of your comfort zone and try new things. When we think we are not enough, we fear stretching out of our comfort zone. God calls us to step out. Look at Noah, Moses, Esther, Ruth, Nehemiah, Mary and Joseph, Peter, John, and Paul. God called all of them to something they were not sure of, but he provided a way for them to do amazing things. Stepping out of comfort zones provides us with learning opportunities, new friends, and new outlooks.

Avoid the comparison trap. Limit your time on social media. A 2017 study found a whopping 88% of Americans fall into the comparison trap. Just one hour spent scrolling through Facebook can have a significant negative impact on your self-esteem. Comparing yourself to others rarely leads to anything good. It does, however, often lead to envy and jealously, as well as reinforce our negative feelings toward ourselves. Remember that much of what you see on social media is a sanitized version of someone’s life. You are unique and have your own areas of giftedness. Give up the comparisons.

Stay healthy. Believe it or not, your health has a large impact on your feelings of inadequacy. Eat healthy foods. Exercise regularly, even if it is just walking. Find things you like to do that contribute to a healthy lifestyle. It may be an exercise class, hiking, nature walks, growing a garden, or even raising chickens.

There are so many other areas I found during my research and could address for helping diminish those feelings of being less than. But that would require a Part 3. So here they are in a nutshell.

  • Have a positive attitude.
  • Set time aside for yourself (especially you introverts out there).
  • Set attainable goals for yourself.
  • Master a new skill.
  • Do something creative.
  • Help someone.
  • Volunteer.
  • Read something inspirational.
  • Learn from your failures.
  • Set boundaries.

All of these things can help us become well-rounded individuals who do not dwell so much on our own feeling of being less than someone else. Dr. Monica Vermani, a clinical psychologist in Toronto, Ontario says, “High self-esteem allows you to develop strong coping skills, handle adversity, and keep the negative and challenging aspects of life in perspective.” When we see things from a view of less than, we often see life from a skewed angle. Having a positive self-image helps us see things more realistically.

Scripture says this,” I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.” Psalm 139:14. Just remember you are fearfully and wonderfully made and you are never less than.

2 thoughts on “Feeling Less Than, Part 2

  1. Linda, I have always thought that you are a strong woman. You raised your children after losing your husband. Your strong belief in God is something To be proud of. You have no reason to feel less than. You are an amazing writer and the ability to open up and express yourself. You should be very proud of yourself.


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