I feel like my life has been in a holding pattern since my husband’s death six years ago. I have lived within my comfort zone, with very few challenges outside of it. However, for the past several months, the Holy Spirit has been convicting me to get ready for change. And for someone who does not like change, that is scary!
I have been convicted of my need to let go of things, a constant struggle for someone who had very few material things as a child. I have to confess getting rid of things is difficult for me. But in planning on moving I cleaned out closets and storage spaces and cleared out bags and bags of stuff. I packed up boxes in anticipation of putting the house on the market, and months later I realized other than an occasional item, I did not miss most of the things I packed. I have now moved and so many of my boxes went to the basement that I started going through them and am getting rid of some of those things. Quite frankly, I look around and realize I still have a lot of stuff.
Not only has God has also convicted me of my need to let go of things, He has also been convicting me to get out of my comfort zone and see the world around me with new eyes. I confess I like living in my comfort zone and it is hard for me to go outside of it! Even in my own region, there are many different cultures surrounding me and yet I have little interaction with any of them. I have a feeling that God is getting ready to change that.
I have found myself wondering why God is convicting me so powerfully that change is coming. I tell myself I am too old for big changes. But then I look at Moses and Abraham and Sarah and all those who went before me who experienced radical shifts later in life. Moses was 80 when he came back to Egypt and led the Israelites to a new land. Abraham was 100 when Isaac was born. There is speculation that Sarah was 90 when she had Isaac. It is certain she was beyond childbearing years. Those were pretty radical lifestyle shifts.
So when I hear God tell me, an ordinary, 63-year-old woman, to get ready for a radical shift, who am I to disobey? I am praying that I will have the eyes to see and the heart to respond to what it is God is calling me to do. He is convicting me daily of ways I can make a difference in the lives of others, sometimes stepping WAY out of my comfort zone. Recently he laid something on my heart that made no rhyme or reason but I listened and did what he asked. What I found was a blessing I never anticipated because when I did what he asked I found that it was the answer to someone’s very heartfelt prayer.
I have learned that I need to prepare myself to respond when God sets a task before me. Obedience to God’s call is sometimes a scary thing and I can only hope and pray that I am up for the challenge.
“We plan the way we want to live, but only God makes us able to live it.” -Proverbs 16:9 (MSG)