Resilient or Defeated

re·sil·ience/rəˈzilyəns

  1. the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness. “the often remarkable resilience of so many British institutions”

Today I was reading through the book Successful Women Think Differently by Valorie Burton. I sincerely wish I had been able to read a book like this when I was in my twenties (which is way further back than I like!). The chapter I read today was on resilience. As I read through the chapter I realized that resiliency is one key thing that makes all the difference in the world for people who have faced adversity.

Burton defines resilience as “the ability to bounce back from setbacks.” She further notes that “resilient people thrive and grow in the face of adversity, challenges and change.”1

While I was in the Ozarks I noticed that throughout the rocky ground, there was life. Bushes, trees and even weeds managed to thrive and grow despite their less than ideal environment.

I thought about that and realized that I have needed to be resilient my whole life. From at least 20 moves in my lifetime (I do not remember the ones before I was 5), to losing my husband, I have needed to practice resiliency. If you would have asked me at the time if I was resilient, I may have said no, but looking back I realize that I really did learn to grow and change during those times.

I think about all of the individuals I read about in the Bible who recovered from adversity and showed resiliency in the their lives. There are so many it is difficult to just chose a few. I am not sure how I would have reacted to being thrown in a pit or put in a fiery furnace.

Joseph showed resilience when he was sold by his brothers, accused by his master’s wife, and languishing in prison. He eventually rose to a prominent position and was able to assist his family during a time of famine. Moses came back from the act of murdering an Egyptian taskmaster and running away to the wilderness, to lead the nation of Israel to freedom from enslavement. Ruth showed resilience after losing her husband when she followed her mother-in-law to a new land. Esther showed resilience when she was chosen for the kings harem and eventually was chosen to be queen and risked her life by going before the king and pleading for the lives of the Jewish people.

All of the apostles showed resiliency after the death and resurrection of Jesus. They all faced difficult circumstances when they preached the gospel, but the continued on even until their death. Paul showed resiliency when he had an encounter with Jesus on the road to Damascus and turned his life in an entirely new direction.

I think about all of the people I know who have shown resiliency in the face of adversity and trials. When I think of resiliency I think of one of my sisters who has faced the death of a child, the serious illness of a spouse, her own rare illness and the death of two of her grandchildren and more. Every time she comes back stronger and wiser, determined to learn from the trials in her life and become a better person. Not only that but she has undertaken the challenge of writing a book about grief (I cannot wait to see a final copy!). I have known people who lost loved ones, lost their homes, lost their jobs and still they weather their crises with fortitude and determine to learn from their challenges.

But then I have noticed individuals who seem to be stuck in their grief and bitterness and cannot move beyond the horrific things that happened to them. They deal with depression, negativity, and angst most of their lives when they do not have the resiliency to move forward. They fail to realize that cultivating resiliency can help them have a better life.

Frequently it is difficult to make the determination to move on in life. It is easier to wallow in grief or depression and not take the steps needed to make the resolution to learn from experience and move forward. The things that have helped me overcome the tough times are encouragement from family and friends, focusing on the positive instead of the negative, and most of all, relying on God to be my source of comfort and my guide.

Where do you go when the hard times strike? Do you immediately become gloom and doom or do you face your trials with an attitude of positivity and hope? Do you draw on the resources of family and friends? And most of all, do you look to the God who is the source of comfort during times of trouble?

Resiliency is a key to living a happier and more productive life. Are you living a life that is resilient or defeated? Only you can make the choice.

1Successful Women Think Differently by Valorie Burton. Published by Harvest House

©Linda DeLay Wallace 2021

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